More and more, I’m convinced that it’s vital for all of us to learn to “discount the murmurings of our own personalities.” Far too often people take their approach to daily life as morally superior (even if they wouldn’t call it that) – their approach to everything, from time management to having fun to conflict to anything else under the sun.
Of course, for many, roommates, workplace, and ultimately marriage go a long way toward requiring compromise. But there are three problems with that, at least for the purposes of this blog:
- Sometimes it doesn’t. Some combinations of personalities don’t lead to compromise as much as they lead to truces, withdrawal, or doormats.
- Compromise on truly personality-based issues, even though you still assume your personality’s natural approach is certainly best but “this is just not worth fighting over,” is a very quick route to pride, resentment, bigger conflict later, and I’m sure more.
- College ministers have the chance to help students work on all this now, even if the roommate thing hasn’t helped so far and marriage isn’t on the horizon. And they can do it biblically and fully, helping create disciples who truly don’t lean on their own understanding and truly have begun laying down their lives to follow Christ (and love others well).