In light of my recent nuptials, I’m discussing how we teach our students about relationships. Today, a post from a couple of years ago that looks at what we say about their present status – which is very likely to be their status for awhile.
Are you teaching your students about relationships as though…
…a large number of them will be single for another decade?
If we’re stuck in a past when college ministry mostly shepherded students who were likely to be married within a few years, we’re doing it wrong! (Right?)
While it depends on the city and the region and even the campus, the truth is that raising up students who are great at being single is our job.
Fifteen years ago, many of us expected to be married soon after college. But that didn’t happen for lots of us late Gen Xers and now the Millennials. In churches, Singles (or better, Young Adult) Ministries are populated by many people who are simply still “Single for a Season,” not only those “Single for a Reason.”
So if you’re only teaching on Dating or Preparing for Marriage – and not on Singleness, too – you’d better hope many of your students have excellent filing systems for your notes. What many of them will need far more (and far more often) between now and Age 28 is instruction on being awesome Singles.
I got to thinking about this because Christianity Today posted some thoughts on Singleness from John Stott, a lifelong bachelor. At the end of the article are several links to discussions of singleness from CT. I hope you’ll take a look.
First, don’t be in too great a hurry to get married. We human beings do not reach maturity until we are about 25. To marry before this runs the risk of finding yourself at twenty-five married to somebody who was a very different person at the age of twenty. So be patient. Pray daily that God will guide you to your life partner or show you if he wants you to remain single. Second, lead a normal social life. Develop many friendships. Third, if God calls you to singleness, don’t fight it. Remember the key text: “Each person has his or her own gift of God’s grace” (1 Cor. 7:7). [Read the full 2-page article and find those other links here.]