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I’m in Ohio this week, meeting with some college ministers and church planters looking to impact a campus up here. So fun!
In the course of a chat yesterday, we discussed a principle that fits really well into this whole discussion of Hospitality of College Ministry… but also gives us a bit of a “bonus” reason for practicing hospitality, too.
The principle? As God draws individuals into your ministry, He might use their attributes to help set the course for your ministry. For example, an influx of fraternity students into your ministry this fall might indicate you should explore opportunities within their frat houses. If God brings a student with disabilities, that might be a chance not simply to meet individual needs, but also to pray about how that community might be better reached for Christ. If upperclassmen begin to choose your ministry, it’s worth praying through whether you should begin to recruit among the Juniors and Seniors.
This doesn’t mean that every type of student needs to be met with an entirely new emphasis or niche-based ministry. Instead, the point is that we get to know people enough that we can see ways God might be directing us through whom He brings our way. A party host surely tries to get to know her guests at some level; are we at least offering that same level of hospitality within our ministries? Would we even know if God was bringing 10 people from the same sports team?
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As I’m working my way through this series on Hospitality in College Ministry, a vital note:
Perceptions always matter, but even more so in aiming for hospitality.
We’ve all had moments of sadness when we hear that students who visited our ministries didn’t feel welcomed. But we’ve also probably (wisely) learned that sometimes the visitors themselves are at fault – they expected something that wouldn’t have expected in any other venue, for instance, or they unfairly extrapolated after running into somebody who was unfriendly (who might have been a visitor themselves!).
But the danger is that we’d lean too heavily on the excuses (true though they may be) and miss the opportunity to still work on helping these perceptions change. I know “perception is reality” is a cliche (though it’s often important to see the truth there) – but in this case, the act of being hospitable does hinge on people’s feelings – feeling welcome, feeling invited, feeling happy they came.
So how are you (A) discerning visitors’ perceptions, and (B) helping improve them?
We won’t get 100% positive impressions. But if we want to be hospitable, we should probably be trying to get there.
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Last week, I jumped back into my earlier series on Hospitality in College Ministry (see all the posts so far here). I’m focusing on quick ideas for serving our students through our structures. And the series continues…
As college ministers, we’re at least roughly familiar with the generalizations of the generation we serve. We’ve come to understand their musical appetites, the varieties of discipleship that seem to impact them most, and how – by and large – they respond to our various challenges.
Throughout this blog, I’ve been a major proponent of learning – and using – the sociological findings about the Millennial Generation (which happens to be the generation we’re serving right now, for the most part).
But what can get lost as we attend to the generalizations is the fact that each student corresponds to these generalizations to varying degrees. On any given issue – whether it’s how you teach, the way you do small groups, your music, your focus on (or lack of focus on) “traditions,” etc. – some of your actual students may be “outliers,” holding a view that doesn’t exactly fit the stereotypes.
And that brings us to the question that ends this post:
For each of your structures and themes, how do you serve those outliers while also serving the majority? Have you considered it?
Our answers will be different. But it’s the act of considering this, of praying and pondering, that proves (or disproves) our hospitality.
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Earlier this week, I continued my earlier series on Hospitality in College Ministry – see all the posts so far here!
Are you geographically hospitable toward college students? In other words, do you try to accommodate their locations when you can?
This might show up in more ways than you think. Check out this list of possibilities, and feel free to add your own!
- Where you hold your Large Group Meeting
- Offering carpools / pick-ups for activities off-campus
- Recognizing that many students don’t have cars – and responding in hospitality
- Meeting students on-campus for meetings / discipleship / etc.
- If you don’t have a building – or are a church-based college minister stationed a ways from campus – considering finding a way to have some permanent space near / on campus.
- Purposely hanging out (having a “ministry of presence”) in public places on campus
- Holding leadership meetings near your students
- Offering small groups in apartment complexes where you have students
Hospitality often means simply thinking through the unique situations of those we want to serve. Have you considered where most of your students live? Where they congregate? How you could make things easier for them? Other ways to be “geographically hospitable”?
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As I picked up the Hospitality series again yesterday, I urged us to consider if there are some mature Christian students we might be overlooking in our ministries.
Before moving on, I wanted to post some quick ways to make sure we’re addressing the needs of those who have been walking with Jesus for awhile.
- Use them as leaders (of course), but also attend to their own needs for growth.
- Ask them for input, not just management of your ideas (or longstanding traditions).
- Offer “201″-type studies, specifically geared for those who have a steady, growing walk with Christ and are ready to be challenged in that way.
- Find mentors / disciplers for them – even from outside of the college ministry.
- Get them to disciple other students one-on-one.
- Open them up to “self-mentorship,” by exposing them to classic books, special topics, etc.
- Provide chances to learn from fellow mature students, including mature students of the opposite sex.
- Treat them as individuals, seeking to discern (and help them discern) where they need to grow next and how they can be used best. Be creative, and allow for messiness and new opportunities. The further we walk with Christ, interestingly enough, the more and more “individual” we seem to become.
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I’ve been working on a book about my visits to churches around the country (165 of ‘em in a year), so I think a lot about Hospitality these days. Early this year, I wrote a 6-part series on Hospitality in College Ministry – and this week, I wanted to continue that series.
The posts will be short – it seems like that kind of week, for many of you and for me. But hopefully they’ll be helpful as you ponder Hospitality for this summer or Fall 2012!
the solid… but ignored
I recognize that there’s a lot of merit in college ministries (and churches) focusing on the unsaved and immature. We rightly work hard to cater to them, draw them, welcome them, share Christ with them, and disciple them in the basics of faith.
But in the midst of all that, it’s easy to ignore some of your more solid, faithful, long-present students. We don’t seek out the mature Christians within our ministries, even though God has been building them to use them. Nor do focus often enough on helping them “excel still more” in their walks with Christ; how many of your Bible studies or talks would actually stretch someone who’s been a growing Christian for 12 years?
Many of your students have been growing Christians for 12 years.
So for the sake of Hospitality – at the very least – I urge us to a better “both-and” approach here. I know it’s a little messier and a little harder and a little less exciting. But shouldn’t we seek to impact everybody God brings to us?
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One of the best comments I heard peppered throughout my campus ministry-exploring travels was a recognition that we must consider students’ time and schedules. I was encouraged to hear that at least a few college ministers place this as a priority, and in fact it helped me realize that it must be.
Yes, students should be pushed to recognize that ministry to others, involvement in community, and other Christian pursuits should be a major part of their collegiate experience. Many of them don’t steward their time accordingly, or sacrifice in this area like they should.
But we are shepherds of these students, and we have to be willing to see both sides of this concern. I think it’s easy for us to correct their errors in underspending their time for ministry-oriented activities… while not taking responsibility not to ask too much of them.
Oftentimes the activities we expect of students – or even simply the events we offer them – make it far too easy for them to fall into a trap of spending too much of their time within our ministries… and too little time either in spiritual pursuits outside our college ministry OR on all the other equally spiritual pursuits of education, relationships, family, and any other callings God has placed on their lives.
For campus-based college ministries and institutional college ministries at Christian colleges, this includes not so filling students’ calendars that they find it all too easy to ignore church involvement.
So this has to be a priority, and it’s certainly a part of Hospitality: purposely ordering our college ministries to keep from overburdening students’ schedules.
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It seems to me that true Hospitality is characterized by – among other things – a recognition of all, not just many.
When I’m thinking about Hospitality (in college ministry, churches, or otherwise), it helps me to consider how the perfect party host handles her soirees. Does she aim to host the bulk of her crowd, or all of her crowd?
I think she considers the All.
That doesn’t mean she acts the same to all (in fact, Hospitality recognizes that people need to be treated differently). And she doesn’t give in to every single expectation of each person, either.
But she thinks of all, she acknowledges all, she does what she can to host everyone at the party.
I would never say that a college ministry needs to (necessarily) target all students, cater equally to all students, or involve all students in the same way. But it seems to me… I think… that a Hospitable college ministry will indeed consider all students who make their way into it, for a day or a semester or longer.
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Somehow this Fridea from last week never got posted – sorry about that! So enjoy the extra Fridea this week…
I’ve been writing about Hospitality in College Ministry, and today’s Fridea certainly ties in (in a way).
Here’s a weird question: When’s the last time you talked to your students about sleep?
Sleep can be one of their biggest idols, or it can be one of their biggest neglects. And when they get out of college, they may keep those same patterns – or some of the idolizers may start neglecting sleep, while others learn to idolize it. Learning how to manage sleep well – and enjoy it, too, and use it as part of the REST God commands – will all be a big part of living faithfully before the Lord.
Sleep is a third (or maybe a fourth) of our students’ days (and their years). So I’d imagine this area is crucial to their success.
So, again, when’s the last time you referenced sleep in a message? Taught about it? Pointed students to the way doing “all to the glory of God” applies to sleep? Taught them neither to idolize sleep nor to idolize everything else in a way that keeps them from it?
So that’s this week’s Fridea: Let sleep be one of the areas of collegiate life that you address. Whether that comes through an entire message or just as an application point every once in awhile, offering your students some wisdom for their Zs sounds like pretty great Hospitality to me.
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For the third post about Hospitality in College Ministry, I wanted to introduce one test you can do right now to assess how well you’re “hosting” the students in you college ministry in an ongoing way.
Here’s the question: How well do leaders in your ministry know the students who attend?
The way you answer this will depend on the size of your ministry. In big ministries, the college minister can’t be expected to know each of the students. But the question is whether they are known – whether by the one (and only) college minister in a small ministry or by your large network of staff, volunteers, and student leaders.
So if all those in leadership took a quiz – about students’ majors, their years in school, their hopes for the future, what they’ll be doing next summer, how they came to Christ, if they’ve come to Christ, what they struggle with, what they’re good at, and on and on – how well would you be able to answer those things about the students in your ministry?
Knowing people and being hospitable toward them are wrapped up together. By being hospitable in the first place, you create time and space to get to know people. But as you get to know them better, you’re able to host them better and better, too.
I don’t know that there’s any good shortcut here, nor can we ever get anywhere near where we’d like to be with this. But if the thought of being quizzed on what you know about your college students makes you cringe… then maybe working on Hospitality is a good aim for this new year.
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