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As I’m working my way through this series on Hospitality in College Ministry, a vital note:
Perceptions always matter, but even more so in aiming for hospitality.
We’ve all had moments of sadness when we hear that students who visited our ministries didn’t feel welcomed. But we’ve also probably (wisely) learned that sometimes the visitors themselves are at fault – they expected something that wouldn’t have expected in any other venue, for instance, or they unfairly extrapolated after running into somebody who was unfriendly (who might have been a visitor themselves!).
But the danger is that we’d lean too heavily on the excuses (true though they may be) and miss the opportunity to still work on helping these perceptions change. I know “perception is reality” is a cliche (though it’s often important to see the truth there) – but in this case, the act of being hospitable does hinge on people’s feelings – feeling welcome, feeling invited, feeling happy they came.
So how are you (A) discerning visitors’ perceptions, and (B) helping improve them?
We won’t get 100% positive impressions. But if we want to be hospitable, we should probably be trying to get there.
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Last week, I jumped back into my earlier series on Hospitality in College Ministry (see all the posts so far here). I’m focusing on quick ideas for serving our students through our structures. And the series continues…
As college ministers, we’re at least roughly familiar with the generalizations of the generation we serve. We’ve come to understand their musical appetites, the varieties of discipleship that seem to impact them most, and how – by and large – they respond to our various challenges.
Throughout this blog, I’ve been a major proponent of learning – and using – the sociological findings about the Millennial Generation (which happens to be the generation we’re serving right now, for the most part).
But what can get lost as we attend to the generalizations is the fact that each student corresponds to these generalizations to varying degrees. On any given issue – whether it’s how you teach, the way you do small groups, your music, your focus on (or lack of focus on) “traditions,” etc. – some of your actual students may be “outliers,” holding a view that doesn’t exactly fit the stereotypes.
And that brings us to the question that ends this post:
For each of your structures and themes, how do you serve those outliers while also serving the majority? Have you considered it?
Our answers will be different. But it’s the act of considering this, of praying and pondering, that proves (or disproves) our hospitality.
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Earlier this week, I continued my earlier series on Hospitality in College Ministry – see all the posts so far here!
Are you geographically hospitable toward college students? In other words, do you try to accommodate their locations when you can?
This might show up in more ways than you think. Check out this list of possibilities, and feel free to add your own!
- Where you hold your Large Group Meeting
- Offering carpools / pick-ups for activities off-campus
- Recognizing that many students don’t have cars – and responding in hospitality
- Meeting students on-campus for meetings / discipleship / etc.
- If you don’t have a building – or are a church-based college minister stationed a ways from campus – considering finding a way to have some permanent space near / on campus.
- Purposely hanging out (having a “ministry of presence”) in public places on campus
- Holding leadership meetings near your students
- Offering small groups in apartment complexes where you have students
Hospitality often means simply thinking through the unique situations of those we want to serve. Have you considered where most of your students live? Where they congregate? How you could make things easier for them? Other ways to be “geographically hospitable”?
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This is a Fridea that I know some of you already do. But others don’t, and it’s cool enough that I wanted to make sure you’ve thought about it.
The Fridea? Honor and bless the students who are graduating from your ministry.
How can you honor and bless students?
- Have them share testimonies of their time and learnings in college
- Have them give a public “charge” to the remaining students – in-person or on video
- Give them public praise (by other students or by staff members)
- Provide contact info so students can write encouragements
- Have students provide a collection of notes and memories, either “hard copies” or through video or other means
- Offer a gift that will be meaningful (even for a lifetime): a quality study Bible, for instance, or an option of a few graduation gifts
What else can you do? Are you doing anything?
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It seems to me that true Hospitality is characterized by – among other things – a recognition of all, not just many.
When I’m thinking about Hospitality (in college ministry, churches, or otherwise), it helps me to consider how the perfect party host handles her soirees. Does she aim to host the bulk of her crowd, or all of her crowd?
I think she considers the All.
That doesn’t mean she acts the same to all (in fact, Hospitality recognizes that people need to be treated differently). And she doesn’t give in to every single expectation of each person, either.
But she thinks of all, she acknowledges all, she does what she can to host everyone at the party.
I would never say that a college ministry needs to (necessarily) target all students, cater equally to all students, or involve all students in the same way. But it seems to me… I think… that a Hospitable college ministry will indeed consider all students who make their way into it, for a day or a semester or longer.
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And… we’re back!
Over my break, I’ve been working on a possible book – only this one’s not about college ministry, it’s about the weird, intriguing, magnificent time I spent visiting 165 weekend church services during my yearlong road trip. Yes, the main purposes of that trip – and by far most of the hours spent – were all about exploring American college ministry. But I’m kind of a church geek, so I took the chance to visit a jillion churches on the weekends. It was pretty stinkin’ interesting, to say the least.
Anyway… a real focus of that book is how churches think about hospitality toward visitors (whether newcomers or longtime attenders). And that’s something that needs to be thought about constantly within our field, Collegiate Ministry, too.
So since I’ve been mulling those sorts of thoughts, I figured I’d make a blog series out of them; the start of a semester or quarter is a great time to think about Hospitality anyway. And since this is the first entry, that’s actually what I wanted to ask: How much have you thought about hospitality lately?
Sure, I imagine you’ve got some “plays” designed to welcome guests, and you designed some other things (maybe awhile back) to make your Large Group Meeting fun and inviting. But when’s the last time you really thought about how well it was accomplishing those purposes – and all the other purposes that make up true “hospitality”? Can you even list out what a truly “hospitable” college ministry might look like in your context?
Or what about your small groups? Do the leaders there think regularly about hospitality?
Have you identified students and leaders within your ministry with the spiritual gift of Hospitality? What roles do they play in your ministry?
In the days to come, I’ll be looking closer at some of these areas – and I’m sure a few more, as well. But for today, I’d encourage you to ponder (and even pray about) what role Hospitality – as a disciplined, purposeful pursuit – has played in your campus ministry… and what role you want it to play in the future!
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