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As I’m working my way through this series on Hospitality in College Ministry, a vital note:
Perceptions always matter, but even more so in aiming for hospitality.
We’ve all had moments of sadness when we hear that students who visited our ministries didn’t feel welcomed. But we’ve also probably (wisely) learned that sometimes the visitors themselves are at fault – they expected something that wouldn’t have expected in any other venue, for instance, or they unfairly extrapolated after running into somebody who was unfriendly (who might have been a visitor themselves!).
But the danger is that we’d lean too heavily on the excuses (true though they may be) and miss the opportunity to still work on helping these perceptions change. I know “perception is reality” is a cliche (though it’s often important to see the truth there) – but in this case, the act of being hospitable does hinge on people’s feelings – feeling welcome, feeling invited, feeling happy they came.
So how are you (A) discerning visitors’ perceptions, and (B) helping improve them?
We won’t get 100% positive impressions. But if we want to be hospitable, we should probably be trying to get there.
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Last week, I jumped back into my earlier series on Hospitality in College Ministry (see all the posts so far here). I’m focusing on quick ideas for serving our students through our structures. And the series continues…
As college ministers, we’re at least roughly familiar with the generalizations of the generation we serve. We’ve come to understand their musical appetites, the varieties of discipleship that seem to impact them most, and how – by and large – they respond to our various challenges.
Throughout this blog, I’ve been a major proponent of learning – and using – the sociological findings about the Millennial Generation (which happens to be the generation we’re serving right now, for the most part).
But what can get lost as we attend to the generalizations is the fact that each student corresponds to these generalizations to varying degrees. On any given issue – whether it’s how you teach, the way you do small groups, your music, your focus on (or lack of focus on) “traditions,” etc. – some of your actual students may be “outliers,” holding a view that doesn’t exactly fit the stereotypes.
And that brings us to the question that ends this post:
For each of your structures and themes, how do you serve those outliers while also serving the majority? Have you considered it?
Our answers will be different. But it’s the act of considering this, of praying and pondering, that proves (or disproves) our hospitality.
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Here’s one way to gauge our collegiate ministry’s hospitality:
What happens to a new visitor who shows up to your large group meeting this week?
- Can they get into a small group? (Will they even hear about small groups?)
- Will they be greeted and name-tagged as excitedly as they would have been in January? In August?
- Can they find out about leadership opportunities… that they can participate in sooner, rather than later?
- Will someone follow up with them this week?
- Can you tell them about opportunities to connect or stay connected this summer? Do your ministry’s present students know these details, so they can share them with visitors (and friends)?
- Will the general “tone of welcome” make these students feel like you’re excited they’re here?
Lots of college ministries have first-time visitors in April. They may not have as many as in August, but they still have them. This is a chance for a gut-check: Are we only being hospitable when it’s most “efficient”? Or are we being hospitable because we care about hospitality?
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And… we’re back!
Over my break, I’ve been working on a possible book – only this one’s not about college ministry, it’s about the weird, intriguing, magnificent time I spent visiting 165 weekend church services during my yearlong road trip. Yes, the main purposes of that trip – and by far most of the hours spent – were all about exploring American college ministry. But I’m kind of a church geek, so I took the chance to visit a jillion churches on the weekends. It was pretty stinkin’ interesting, to say the least.
Anyway… a real focus of that book is how churches think about hospitality toward visitors (whether newcomers or longtime attenders). And that’s something that needs to be thought about constantly within our field, Collegiate Ministry, too.
So since I’ve been mulling those sorts of thoughts, I figured I’d make a blog series out of them; the start of a semester or quarter is a great time to think about Hospitality anyway. And since this is the first entry, that’s actually what I wanted to ask: How much have you thought about hospitality lately?
Sure, I imagine you’ve got some “plays” designed to welcome guests, and you designed some other things (maybe awhile back) to make your Large Group Meeting fun and inviting. But when’s the last time you really thought about how well it was accomplishing those purposes – and all the other purposes that make up true “hospitality”? Can you even list out what a truly “hospitable” college ministry might look like in your context?
Or what about your small groups? Do the leaders there think regularly about hospitality?
Have you identified students and leaders within your ministry with the spiritual gift of Hospitality? What roles do they play in your ministry?
In the days to come, I’ll be looking closer at some of these areas – and I’m sure a few more, as well. But for today, I’d encourage you to ponder (and even pray about) what role Hospitality – as a disciplined, purposeful pursuit – has played in your campus ministry… and what role you want it to play in the future!
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My longtime friend is a partner in a new restaurant here in Dallas, and he and I ate breakfast-for-lunch over there on Friday. At some point, he asked for my honest opinion on anything I noticed… and if you know me, you know that analyzing any experience is like Christmas for me.
I hemmed-and-hawed, not because I don’t thoroughly enjoy that process, but because I’m always worried I’m going to insult, bore, or otherwise turn off with my tedium. But he assured me he wanted my thoughts – even the ticky-tack stuff – and kept encouraging me to write those thoughts down on a Comment Card.
Your college ministry has likely wrapped up the bulk of its operations for the semester / quarter, but there may still be students hanging around taking Finals or waiting for graduation. And even if everybody’s gone home, fortunately for today’s idea they don’t have an awful lot to do as they sit at home.
It might be high time to get feedback from your students, just like Shane asked for my ideas about his eatery. Maybe it’s through constructing a survey, a direct email to a bunch of students, or several in-person interviews. Maybe you can encourage students to ponder and then follow up – specifically – in January. Whatever. However you do it (and that’s worth praying and thinking through, of course), there’s double delight in student feedback:
1. For your college ministry.
Feedback will make your campus ministry better. No doubt about it. It’s a chance to get the wisdom of many, many counselors. And even when some students aren’t all that “wise” about your ministry (’cause they’re new or ’cause they’re not so wise!), it’s a chance to learn what they think about your ministry… and knowing people’s perception is just as important a piece of information as their ideas for betterment might be.
2. For the students.
Everybody likes knowing they’ve got a hand in something. Everybody likes believing their opinion matters. And especially students in the Millennial Generation like knowing they can enact change, they have a voice, there’s authenticity in their leaders, they’re a part of the team, and so on. Soliciting feedback (and treating it with respect) conveys all that. (And I’d point out – specifically – some of the changes you make as a result of feedback. Maybe even name names…)
BONUS
One last idea: Don’t just ask students. Ask volunteers (if you have some). Those guys and gals have some of the most important feedback you need to hear.
And while you’re at it, consider who else’s opinion matters: maybe parents of students, faculty, administration, past people in your position, townspeople, donors, alumni. In various ministries, any or all of these people might have really important things to share.
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I gotta feeling
That tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good, good night*
How often do students actually look toward your college ministry events with that sort of anticipation?
I’ve been pondering some rather unique points of evaluation for our collegiate ministries this week! And this one may sound an awful lot like yesterday’s… but I’m intrigued by how they’re different.
Yesterday I encouraged us to examine whether students enjoy their moments with us. And certainly, THAT axis will affect today’s; the more we enjoy events, the more we look forward to them. But it’s possible that a student could thoroughly enjoy a ministry event… but not be especially excited when next week rolls around. In fact, I think it’s a special ministry indeed where students highly anticipate their upcoming night (or day) with that ministry. It may take quite a while to get there, and not all ministries will.
Anticipation, to me, seems like it might perhaps be more important than simply enjoyment, because it infers how students see your ministry, not just how they experience it. A student who anticipates this week’s large group meeting or next month’s retreat likely does so because they can count on it being good, a good time, or both. They believe in you (their leader) and what you’ll provide, knowing that even if it’s not “enjoyable” it will be worth attending.
Even more importantly, anticipation actually increases the chance students will be impacted in whatever ways God has planned. When they come to learn, they’re more likely to learn. When they expect to experience community, they’re more likely to do so. When they’ve been thinking all day about worshiping God with 20 of their peers, they’re more likely to experience that in a deeper way.
This may turn out to be a more complex evaluation than I can cover here. But I bet if you asked yourself (and your staff, and your student leaders) this question:
Do students truly get excited about coming to our events?
…and got honest answers, at the very least it would lead to a great discussion.
*yep, the song is by the Black Eyed Peas. And I vividly remember it being used as a while-students-enter-the-room song at Young Life College’s large group meeting at ASU. Those Young Life people know how to raise the anticipation level…
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The college ministry I volunteer in has a pretty great spot for their Large Group Meeting. It’s a big auditorium on the lowest level of the student center on campus, and even though it’s sorta underground, it’s pretty perfect for a large group.
However, the area around where we meet isn’t as favorable. It’s hard to explain, but there’s sort of an annoying bend in the “thoroughfare” students take to get inside. So during hang-out times before and after the meeting itself, it’s a little awkward, and the space (as we’ve presently got it set up) gets a little small. Not only does the layout kinda discourage students from standing around talking, but the Info & Sign-up Table gets swallowed up in its spot along the wall.
So one of the staff members and I were contemplating a better arrangement Wednesday night, so I figured I’d highlight this area for the College Ministry Fridea.
I imagine that in many cases, our campus ministries’ coming-and-going thoroughfares get overlooked – even if we spend some major time setting up the stage and other parts of the room itself. But the gathering areas, arrival routes, and departure routes for our Large Group Meetings can be extremely helpful (or problematic) when it comes to building community, helping Movement (like getting sign-ups, etc.), and making new guests feel welcome and comfortable.
That leads to this week’s College Ministry Fridea: Take some time to observe and ponder the gathering spots and thoroughfares around your weekly meeting(s).
This is one of the several places in college ministry where a little bit of strategizing can go a long way… and conversely, it’s a place where many of us may overlook simple-but-powerful tweaks, letting negatives remain for months or years.
I encourage you to spend some time (or get some students to spend some time) making these “spaces” more effective, more welcoming, more inviting, more comfortable, and more community-enhancing. Notice ways you might be discouraging interaction (like if there isn’t room to stop and chat), entrances where guests can slip in unnoticed, barriers to entering in the first place, or things that encourage students to leave afterwards too quickly! It may not be that your spots are too small; too big a hang-out space can discourage interaction and feel coldly cavernous. Maybe you need to bring in some fresh eyes altogether, getting students who’ve never attended to give you their first impressions of your spaces and avenues.
And on and on. There are lots of ways to observe this and address this; the point is to look with new eyes on the space you’re offering students. Jesus cares about Hospitality, and this is part of that. He’ll help us even with these nitty-gritties, I believe, and the little tweaks are still a big part of caring for our students and shepherding them well.
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Maybe it’s ’cause I’m back near NYC, or maybe I’m just nostalgic, but I wanted to present yet another aspect by which Late Night with Jimmy Fallon strongly reflects the Millennial Generation. The show’s methods connect well with the Gen Y mindset, so there’s much we (as ministers who deal exclusively with Gen Y-ers) can learn from!
This is the seventh post in the Jimmy Fallon & Gen Y series; you can see all the posts right here.
One of the more surprising aspects of Late Night these days is a fairly prominent eclecticism in its presentation and programming. This is one aspect of Jimmy’s show that is less obvious in a single viewing but becomes more evident over time – and it’s an aspect that’s certainly worth thinking about for our own “presentation and programming” as we serve the Millennial Generation.
Take a look at a Late Night episode – or better yet, a week of episodes – and you might just notice a broad variation in how the show proceeds.
Even in a single episode, the number of “shifts” represents a willingness (or purpose) to provide an eclectic experience. Fallon may chat unpredictably with band members, announcer Steve Higgins, and audience members; present some sort of one-time running theme throughout the show; or tell personal stories. There seem to be any number of options and themes for the post-monologue comedy bits; Jimmy’s just as likely to appear on a prerecorded video sketch (playing a moody Robert Pattinson or his own wife, for example) as he is to host a semi-mock game show with audience members, like Cell Phone Shoot-out or Wheel of Carpet Samples. And even the number of those bits varies night-to-night.
As for Fallon’s interviewees, the guest roster itself is eclectic, too. Yes, he brings the usual late night repertoire: current actors, musicians, comedians, chefs, animal keepers, politicians. But he also brings in video game makers, technology mavens, actors and musicians with “nostalgic value,” and other celebs that might not be as likely to appear elsewhere. And often guests interact with each other in pretty interesting (and occasionally jarring) “mash-ups.” Last week, for instance, Jimmy and Laurence Fishburne spent a whole segment joking with Sesame Street’s Elmo and Rosita…
Even the Late Night house band, The Roots, has rightly been labeled as “eclectic hip hop” from the beginning; their incredibly wide range of styles shows up throughout the show in bumper music and various guests’ walk-ins. And in a unique twist on the usual TV show homepage, Late Night uses a blog – the perfect format for showcasing its eclectic nature. (Take a look, and I bet you get the picture of how eclectic this show can be.)
Yes, I recognize that there is a certain “variety” apparent in other late night shows, too. With 5 nights a week, remaining “fresh” and unpredictable is vital for these shows. But I’d argue that Fallon “goes eclectic” to a greater degree than most – from his range of discussion topics (and activities) with celebrities to his large number of go-to comedy bits – and regardless of comparisons with others, this show’s Gen Y reflections are something we can notice and learn from.
This aspect – eclecticism – plays a big part in the world of Millennials. It’s the iPod mentality (which has now been copied by the JackFM-style radio stations that I find all over the U.S.). The variety found in an average playlist (or any of the “Favorites” on a student’s Facebook page) makes it clear that Gen Y has no trouble with radical life variation, with delighting in a wide range of themes and genres and topics and activities – all at once or in close proximity.
How many of these characteristics describe your students?
- multi-tasking
- multi-chatting
- apparent short attention span
- web-surfing
- adaptable
- highly involved
- over-committed
In their own ways, these aspects all point to very eclectic existences. And though some might want to make a case that this eclectic approach to life is a bad thing, I’m more interested in noting that it simply is. So it makes sense that a show (or a ministry) catering to Millennials might consider implementing eclecticism when it can.
I don’t know all the ways this might look – nor how far we should take this theme in the ministry world. Certainly, some patterns are important or at least helpful. But might ministries – from college ministries to the church at large – be able to inject more eclecticism into our (often very standardized, very cliché) calendars and schedules? Could messages, speakers, music, announcements, events, small group opportunities, and other offerings be made more like iPod playlists and less like the Top 40 Chart? Could schedules be shifted, mixed, inverted, or discarded sometimes? I don’t know that our students would be thrown off by extreme variation nearly as much as we would be!
And at the very least, minimizing our agenda-pendence might spur creativity, breadth of connection, wider involvement of students and others in ministry programming, and a greater acceptance of the messiness that Millennial ministry always entails.
This is one I’ll continue to ponder, and I hope you will, too. As we do, we might look for a little inspiration from Mr. Fallon.
[More thoughts on eclectic college ministry? I posted some ideas two days later.]
written from Harrisburg, PA
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Exploring College Ministry Road Trip 13: Day 43 recap
recap: finished out my time in State College & began heading east! (see all explorations so far)
T-shirt: the Marauder tribe of Central State University
monday: mostly catching up on work & such
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